Shattered Soul
by aliendroid
Summary: After a lifetime of physical and emotional pain Naruto finally shatters. He leaves Konoha and Sai. NaruSai Yaoi
1. Chapter 1: Parting

_**Shattered Soul**_

**Plot Bunny: Asura**

**Plot: After a lifetime of physical and emotional pain Naruto finally shatters. He leaves Konoha and Sai.**

**Rating: M **

**Genre: Angst/Romance**

**Pairings: SaiNaruSai **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

_Chapter 1: Parting_

Tsunade sat at her desk looking at the blonde before her. She could see the pain he had tried so hard to keep away swimming in his blue eyes. Those blue pools that once held hope and laughter now drowned in turmoil. It hurt to just look into them. Tsunade was amazed they hadn't seen it. "Are you sure?" she asked.

Naruto looked up to her and held out his arms. Tsunade flinched at the blood stained bandages that wrapped his wrists. "It will only get worse if I don't leave," Naruto said softly his voice laden with a burden he has been forced to bear.

Closing her eyes Tsunade considered her options and realized she had none. If Naruto chose to leave she couldn't stop him. Standing up she went around her desk and wrapped the boy in her arms, "I'll miss you Naruto."

Naruto returned the hug. "Me too Tsunade-baa-chan, me too." Naruto broke away and left her office. Tears fell from Tsunade's eyes as she watched him go, knowing she was most likely to never see him again.

Naruto walked out of the Hokage building and through the streets of Konohagakure seeing nothing as he passed. Two years now, it has been two years since the war ended and Sasuke came home. Two years of endless pain. Naruto had known he was spiraling out of control and last night he had finally snapped. He had taken one of his kunai and slit his own wrists in an effort to finally rid himself of the pain that flooded his body. Sai had found him and rushed him to the hospital before his plan could work.

"You're leaving aren't you Naruto-kun?" Sai's voice caused Naruto to come back to reality.

Naruto turned and locked eyes with the short haired raven teen. "Yes," Naruto said his voice dead.

Sai closed his coal eyes for a moment before stepping forward and wrapping his arms around Naruto. "Where are you going?" Sai whispered.

"To Gaara," Naruto whispered back his eyes closing. Sai had been his only support over these last two years it was hard to leave him. Naruto pulled out of his arms and kissed Sai deeply. Breaking the kiss Naruto whispered against his lips, "I'm sorry I couldn't love you. I tried." Tears fell from Naruto's eyes. "But he really has taken everything from me."

Sai placed his hand on Naruto's cheek, his thumb rubbing along his whisker marks. "He should be the one to leave, not you," Sai whispered.

Naruto shook his head. "I couldn't do that to Sakura. She deserves the happiness she has now."

Sai's eye narrowed. "After everything they've done to you-" Sai's words were cut off by Naruto's lips. Naruto's arms wrapped around Sai holding him close. Tears fell from Sai's eyes and mixed with Naruto's within their final kiss. "I love you Naruto," Sai whispered as they broke apart.

"I know, and I'm sorry," Naruto responded. Naruto released Sai and vanished from Konohagakure. Sai stood there tears falling from his eyes, trying desperately to cling to the last of Naruto's warmth.

"Naruto!" Sai cried as he fell to his knees. Several people stopped and looked at the former Root member.

"Sai?" Sai turned and glared at the woman and man standing behind him. "What's going on? Where is Naruto?"

"I hope you are happy," Sai said standing up and wiping his tears away. "He's gone."

"What do you mean gone?" demanded Sakura.

"I owe you no explanation," Sai said walking past her.

Sai's arm was grabbed by her male companion forcing him to stop. Coal eyes met onyx. "Then give me one," Sasuke demanded.

Sai yanked his arm from Sasuke's grasp, pulled his fist back, and punched the other raven. "He left so you two could be happy! He sacrificed everything for you two _again_!" Tears were once again streaming from Sai's eyes. "You broke him, shattered him! Do you realize I found him near death last night? He tried to kill himself! All because he loves you and knows he can never be with you. He wants you two to be happy so he left!" Sai fell to the ground, "He left me. I wasn't able to help him. The one person who should me how to feel and I couldn't help him. Naruto."

"Tsunade-shishio," Sakura whispered fighting back tears. "We have to go Tsunade-shishio now!" She spun around and ran towards the Hokage building, Sasuke right next to her. Sai stood up and ran along the roof tops getting there first. "Tsunade!" Sakura yelled bursting through the doors. Her eyes widened at the tear filled eyes in the room. Everyone was there Kiba, Shino, Hinata, Ino, Choji, Shikamaru, Neji, Lee, Tenten, Kakashi, Iruka, Yamato, and Sai.

"So you've heard," Tsunade said looking at her student and Sasuke. The Hokage had always been proud of Sakura but now, now she could hardly look at her.

"We have to go after him," Sakura said. "Please let Sasuke and I-"

"No!" Tsunade declared her fist slamming onto her desk splitting it. She pinned the two with a hard cold glare. "You two have done enough to him. I won't let you do any more. Besides if anyone from Konoha so much as steps foot near Naruto they will be killed."

"What do you mean?" Sasuke asked. He was still reeling from the information that Naruto had left Konoha because of feelings he held for him. Sasuke couldn't believe he hadn't noticed it. Plus there was what Sai had told him about Naruto trying to kill himself last night. Last night Sasuke had told Naruto of his plans to propose to Sakura.

Kakashi stepped forward and explained, "Naruto is no longer a Konoha shinobi. He was deemed mentally unstable and was sent somewhere he could receive help."

"Where?" Sakura demanded.

"Sunagakure," Sai whispered. Hinata gasped and fell to the ground crying. Neji kneeled down next to her and wrapped her in his arms.

"Why Suna?" asked Kiba shaking slightly.

"Gaara's there," Neji said not needing further explanation as to why Naruto would chose to go there.

"Right," Kakashi confirmed. "If anyone can help Naruto now it's Gaara." Kakashi placed his hand on Iruka's shoulder who was crying freely. Iruka turned and Kakashi wrapped his arms around him.

"Why did he leave?" Sakura whispered tears now falling from her eyes. "I don't understand, why would he leave?"

Sai fisted his hands and moved forward ready to beat the pink haired kunoichi for her naïve words, especially after he told her why. Yamato's outstretched arm blocked his path. "Can you honestly say you have been blind to Naruto's pain for so long?" Yamato asked.

Sakura and Sasuke's eyes widened. They both looked down to the ground, their hands clenched tightly. "He can't watch you two be together," Shikamaru said looking at them. "He kept his promise he brought Sasuke back to you. Isn't that enough?"

"NO!" Sakura cried. "I didn't want this. I never wanted this!"

"It's too late," Hinata cried. She stood up and faced the other woman. "You never saw Naruto. You have done nothing but hurt him, the both of you. And then you acted like his pain didn't exist."

"How could we tell when he was always smiling?" Sasuke accused.

"What smile?" Iruka screamed breaking out of Kakashi's arms. He grabbed Sasuke's shirt and dragged him forward. "You mean that fake grin he plastered on his face whenever he saw you two together when all he wanted to do was cry? Naruto hasn't smiled in years!" Iruka started to shake. "You destroyed him, you destroyed my Naruto." Iruka fell, Kakashi rushed to his side.

"I'll bring him back," Sasuke declared.

"Did you not hear me?" Tsunade asked. "If anyone from Konoha gets near Naruto they will be killed. Gaara refuses to allow anyone near him."

"Then I'll catch him before he reaches Suna," Sasuke said. Sasuke turned to leave only to be blocked by Kiba, Shino, Shikamaru, Lee, Choji, and Neji. "Move," Sasuke ordered.

"You can't help him," Shikamaru stated glaring at the Uchiha.

"Let him go," Neji said.

"Don't tell me to let him go, he's my friend!" Sasuke screamed.

"He's our friend too!" Neji growled. "How do you think we felt when one of his clones appeared and told us goodbye! When we saw the bleeding bandages wrapped around his wrists? You're both lucky you didn't have to go through that!"

"You didn't even try to stop!" Sasuke accused.

"We all tried," Kiba barked. "We've been doing nothing but trying!"

"I'm going even if I have to beat you all to do it," Sasuke said.

"Why?" Sasuke turned to see Sakura standing behind him. "Why are you going this far Sasuke? It isn't like Naruto won't come back. We could just wait for him." She looked up at him with a hopeful smile. "Right we can just wait together for when he comes back."

"No," Sasuke said. Sakura's eyes widened. "I only came back here because Naruto was here. If he's not here anymore then my reason to be here doesn't exist."

Sai started to laugh and everyone looked at him shocked. Out of everyone he had been hurt the most from Naruto leaving and now he was laughing. Sai looked at Sasuke and said in a mocking voice, "What you saying you love Naruto? After hurting him, nearly killing him, being the main cause of his pain and suffering? After never once seeing the hurt just beneath his frail façade? You aren't going to say you love him?" Sasuke's eyes turned broken and soft at the same time. Sai snarled at the Uchiha, "Don't you fucking dare! You have no right to love him!"

"I know I don't," Sasuke whispered. Everyone's eyes widened. Sai was across the room in a flash his fist meeting Sasuke's face again.

"How dare you?" Sai cried. Yamato and Kakashi pulled Sai away from Sasuke.

"I'll fix this mistake," Sasuke said pushing past the others.

_xXx Shattered Soul xXx_

Gaara was waiting at the gates of Sunagakure as Naruto approached. Rushing out he wrapped his arms around his friend. Naruto collapsed into Gaara's arms exhausted from running the entire way there. "Why can't I erase him from my heart?" Naruto whispered.

Gaara held Naruto closer glaring in the direction of Konohagakura. "Don't worry Naruto," Gaara whispered. "He can't reach you here."

_**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**_

**I'm writing this to offset the Pink fluff of "Summer Love Now Year Round". I hope you all cried! Please review! More to come.**


	2. Chapter 2: True Feelings?

_**Shattered Soul**_

**So here is the next chapter. If you cry I did something right! If you laugh, you are as twisted as I am, if not more. If you have no reaction I need to try harder! Please let me know what your reactions are in a review, of course only after you have read this chapter.**

**Plot Bunny: Asura**

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto**

_Chapter 2: True Feelings?_

Dark. Cold. Alone. Naruto was sitting in the corner of the room Gaara had provided him, lights off, his knees drawn up, and his arms wrapped around them. Dark, it was so dark. He couldn't see anything. Cold, it felt like the warmth of the desert sun didn't exist for him. Alone, he was alone. He no longer had a place to return to, a place he could call home.

Naruto hugged his knees tighter. Why had he fought so hard to bring him home again? He knew this was going to happen. He knew that the moment things calmed down again Sakura and Sasuke would get together. Naruto had prepared himself to lose her to him, but he hadn't expected the double dose of pain he received from seeing Sasuke smiling at Sakura. He hadn't expected his feelings for the last Uchiha to change so dramatically.

A soft knock at the door drew Naruto's attention. It swung open and light pierced the black void of Naruto's room, but it could not pierce into his world. "Naruto," Gaara called softly from the doorway. Naruto looked up and over into concerned jade eyes. Gaara shut the door behind him, lit a candle, and walked over to Naruto's huddled form. Kneeling down Gaara sat eye level with the blonde. "It's been two days," Gaara said. "Ready to talk?"

Naruto's lifeless eyes looked into Gaara's causing the redheaded Kazekage to flinch. "How did you overcome it?" Naruto asked.

Gaara blinked several times until he realized what Naruto was referring to. "Naruto this isn't the same as my situation," Gaara whispered. "Neji didn't have a choice, his family decided for him."

"But you didn't fight!" Naruto said. "How were you able to be so calm about it?"

Gaara sighed, "I know Neji loves me. His marriage into the head family wasn't going to change that. Besides in the end Neji didn't go through with it." Gaara wrapped his arms around Naruto and held him close as sobs started to wrack the jinchuriki's body. "As I said, Neji's and my situation is different from yours. Don't compare them."

"I hurt him," Naruto suddenly said between sobs.

Gaara looked down at the broken blonde in his arms. He hated seeing Naruto like this. The strong, bright light that had shown across the entire shinobi world had dimmed to the point where there was no longer any trace of it. It killed Gaara to think the ones who had caused that light to drown were living their lives happily at the expense of Naruto's pain. "Who?" Gaara asked running his hand through Naruto's hair, something Neji often did for him when he was upset. "Who did you hurt?"

"Sai," Naruto sobbed. Just saying his name caused a sharp pain in his chest. "He did nothing but try and help me and I couldn't return any of his feelings! Why?" Naruto suddenly was yelling, "Why does it have to be them? Why can't I forget these feelings? Why can't I be happy for once?" Naruto's entire body was shaking from the bottled up pain.

Gaara held him tighter hoping to take some of into himself. This was torture for him to watch. Naruto was falling apart before his eyes; he could only imagine how his friends in Konoha had felt while watching his slow decay. A thought occurred to Gaara, "Naruto do you want to see Sai?"

Naruto's head jerked up and he looked at Gaara with pleading eyes. It was like a child being told they could go outside to play with other children after being locked up for years. Suddenly the look receded and Naruto withdrew into himself, "I can't!"

"Why?" Gaara asked his voice firm. If his suspicion was correct then Naruto wasn't just warring with his feelings for that bastard Uchiha and pink haired bitch.

"I hurt him," Naruto answered. "How could Sai ever want to see me again?" Gaara couldn't help the small smile that slipped into place. He was right, Naruto's feelings were confused.

"I'm sure he would want to see you Naruto," Gaara said his hand running through the sunshine yellow hair again. It was the only thing bright about Naruto now. His sky blue eyes were now dark and lifeless, his smile was dull and without emotion, and his laugh was flat devoid of all feeling. "If he comes here can I send him to you?" Gaara asked.

Naruto nodded his head. "I want to see him," Naruto cried. "I want to see Sai!"

_xXx Shattered Soul xXx_

Sai zipped past sand dunes; Neji, Kiba, Shino, Choji, Shikamaru, and Lee running along with him. They were chasing Sasuke in hopes of stopping him before he reached Sunagakure. When asked not even Neji could say for certain what Gaara would do to keep Naruto safe. Sai closed his eyes for a brief moment, Naruto's sunny smile flashed in his mind. It was the smile Sai had tried desperately to bring back, the smile he had failed to save.

'_I hate you Sasuke,_' Sai cursed bitterly. _'Why can't you let him go? Why must Naruto suffer in your place?_'

"Sai!" Kiba's voice broke the former Root member out of his thoughts. "We're too late."

Sai turned and watched as the gates of Sunagakure came into view, Sasuke standing before them. Gaara's siblings Temari and Kankuro were standing in front of him their weapons drawn. Sai felt a small hope that they would kill Sasuke rise up. Shaking his head he banished the thought knowing it would only hurt Naruto more if the Uchiha was to die. He heard Shikamaru mutter something under his breath before dashing ahead.

"Temari, Kankuro stop it," Shikamaru called coming to stop between the two Sand-nin and Sasuke. Shikamaru turned to Sasuke and glared, "You're coming back to Konoha with us."

"Not without Naruto," Sasuke said.

"Naruto is going nowhere with you," Everyone turned to see Gaara walking out of the gates. "I won't let you anywhere near Naruto."

"You can't make that decision!" Sasuke growled as he glared at the Kazekage.

Gaara glared back, hate filling his eyes. "Stop it Sasuke," Sai said walking up to the other raven haired male. "You aren't helping Naruto like this. Just go back to Sakura." It pained Sai to say those words knowing it was Sasuke and Sakura's relationship that had driven Naruto to the edge, but it was also what Naruto wanted more than anything.

"How can I be happy knowing he's hurting?" Sasuke bit out. "You claim to care for him but you don't seem to care at all!"

Sasuke's words were met with Sai's hand across his face. "Don't say that," Sai hissed. "Don't you ever say that! Naruto saved me from a world I didn't think I could ever escape, he means more to me then my own life! Don't you ever say I don't care about him!"

Gaara suddenly smiled, "Glad to hear it." Everyone turned to the Kazekage with wide eyes. "Sai, Naruto's in the basement of the Kazekage building, the far back room." Gaara turned to Temari and Kankuro, "Show him the way. I'll deal with Uchiha Sasuke."

"Are you sure?" Temari asked.

"Yes," Gaara answered.

Sasuke rushed forward, he gripped Gaara's robes, and yelled, "Why does Sai get to see Naruto and no one else?" his voice was filled with pure venom.

Gaara's sand pushed Sasuke away from him. Straightening up Gaara said, "Because Sai is the only one Naruto has expressed a want to see." Sai's eyes widened at Gaara's words, his heart filling with hope that maybe, just maybe, Naruto was finally opening up to him. Gaara smiled at the artist, "Go on."

"Right," Sai said rushing past the Kazekage and following Temari and Kankuro.

"I don't understand," Sasuke whispered. "Why Sai? I thought, I thought that Naruto-"

"That he loves you," Gaara finished. Sasuke looked up to the redhead. "Naruto does," Gaara admitted bitterly. "But he is confused as to which type of love he holds for you. More than anything he's confused, and he's hurt because he keeps hurting Sai who he has feelings for. Let Naruto decide what his feelings are."

"But I," Sasuke fell to his knees. "I can't live in Konoha without him."

The Leaf-nin sighed and moved to Sasuke's side. "We aren't asking you to," Neji said his hand on Sasuke's shoulder. "We're asking you to give him time to come back. Let Naruto find his answer."

Sasuke looked up the pale eyed Jounnin. "Okay," Sasuke whispered.

_xXx Shattered Soul xXx_

Sai stood in front of the closed door breathing deeply. On the other side was Naruto. He could hear the soft sobs coming through the door. Slowly he reached out and pushed the wooden barrier open. The sobbing grew in intensity as the door opened allowing more sound out. Sai stepped into the dark room, his eyes quickly adjusting and searching for the blonde he loves. He found him huddled in a corner on the floor. Sai's heart constricted at the sight, as it always did when he found Naruto like that.

Forgetting to be cautious Sai rushed over to him, dropped to his knees, and wrapped his arms around him. "Stop this Naruto," Sai pleaded. "Forget Sasuke and Sakura, I don't want to see you hurting anymore!"

Naruto's crying stopped, he looked up, and his blue eyes met Sai's black. "Sai?" Naruto called with a hoarse voice from crying.

"Yeah," Sai said touching Naruto's tear stained cheeks. "It's me."

"Sai!" Naruto cried throwing his arms around the short haired raven. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please don't leave. Don't leave me alone Sai," Naruto cried louder.

Sai's heart constricted again, as his arms held Naruto tighter to him. "I won't," Sai promised. "I'm not going to leave you alone."

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

**Next chapter is the final one. This was never going to be long, I just needed something to offset all the fluff I've been writing lately. Well please review!**


	3. Chapter 3: Whispers in the Dark

_**Shattered Soul**_

**Okay so here is where the M rating comes in. And I would like to correct something from the first chapter, I said this was a SaiNaruSai, I said this not because Sai was going to be seme, but because I didn't know who was going to be seme. Now I know and can say with absolute certainty this is a NaruSai. **

**Plot Bunny: Asura**

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto.**

_Chapter 3: Whispers in the Dark_

Sai held Naruto tight as the blonde clung to him, tears falling from vacant blue eyes. Sai placed soft kisses on the top of blonde locks, across his brow, down the side of his face, and against cracked lips. "I love you Naruto," Sai whispered as he kissed Naruto again. He was desperately trying to convey this. If only he could make Naruto see there were people who loved him, that he loved him, that he could make him happy.

With Sai's words Naruto clung to him tighter. How many times had he heard Sai whisper those words? How many times had he answered them with silence? How many times was he going to hurt this person who had done nothing but care for him, help him, love him? Naruto looked up into ink black eyes and said what he knew could be false words, but he wanted them to be true, "I love you Sai."

Sai's eyes widened as he looked into sky blue eyes. Eyes that currently held pain, fear, hope, and uncertainty. It hurt to see those emotions; they told Sai that Naruto wasn't certain about his feelings. Sai closed his eyes feeling betrayal pierce him, but he pushed it aside. Naruto was finally opening up to him, finally trying to accept him; he wouldn't push him away now. Leaning down Sai captured Naruto's lips in a deep kiss. Pulling away Sai whispered, "You will."

A look of surprise crossed Naruto's face at his words, but suddenly he gave Sai a sad smile. "Thank you," Naruto said. He sat up and wrapped his arms around Sai holding him close. Sai couldn't help the small shiver that ran through his body as Naruto whispered into his ear, "I promise to love you Sai." Naruto's voice made Sai want to scream in both frustration and elation. Before Naruto could say anything else Sai slammed his lips to Naruto's silencing him. He wanted to hear more but he was terrified of Naruto's words, afraid of what they would deliver. Promises or heartache he didn't want to know.

Naruto took the clue and remained silent as he stood and backed Sai towards the bed. He gently pushed him down and lied down on top of him. Sai parted his legs and cradled Naruto between them. They already knew what was to come, and both needed it. It was familiar, something they both knew well.

_xXx Shattered Soul xXx_

Gaara leaned against Neji as he watched his sister play Shogi with Shikamaru. "Why are you letting us stay?" Neji asked.

"Because I think you should hear Naruto's answer to his questions," Gaara answered looking up at the pale eyed Jounnin. "I want him to realize how special he is," Gaara whispered. He felt Neji's arms tighten around him. Gaara leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "He needs to know how much he is needed, how much he is cared for."

Neji leaned down and kissed Gaara's neck. "Like you did?" Neji asked.

Gaara smiled, "I guess."

"Why did you send Sasuke back to Konoha then?" Shikamaru asked looking over to them.

Gaara sighed and opened his eyes, "Because though Naruto may come to an answer he isn't ready to see Sasuke." The others just nodded their heads in understanding. Shikamaru and Temari went back to their game as Neji led Gaara out of the room and towards the redhead's bedroom.

_xXx Shattered Soul xXx_

Sai gasped as Naruto's lubricated fingers moved within him. He cried out as they brushed his prostate sending jolts of pleasure racing up his body. As Naruto's fingers stretched and widened him his mouth was sucking him off. The combination of Naruto's mouth on his cock and his fingers within him was causing Sai's mind to become blank, filled with only orgasmic bliss. The pale artist didn't have enough of his mind to call to Naruto and warn him before he was coming.

Naruto swallowed Sai's release and withdrew his fingers. Moving up Sai's body Naruto kissed the raven haired ninja deeply conveying everything he possibly could without words. Words were dangerous, they could betray the moment, so they remained silent. Communication was done through action, touches, kisses, and glances. Sai's arms wrapped around Naruto's shoulders pulling him closer, he felt Naruto's member prod his entrance.

Sai bit back a moan as Naruto slowly and gently entered him. Naruto's tenderness was melting Sai to the core. Naruto wanted to be gentle, he didn't just want to fuck Sai like in the past, he wanted to make love to him. He wanted to give Sai the one thing he had never given someone else. He wanted to give Sai him; body, mind, heart, and soul.

Once Naruto was fully in, he stilled his movements until Sai nodded his head giving him the signal to move. Leaning back down Naruto kissed Sai passionately as he pulled out to his tip then thrust forward brushing Sai's prostate. A strangled moan escaped Sai's lips and was swallowed up by Naruto's. Naruto's pace was slow and deep. He would pull out to his tip then thrust back in to the hilt brushing Sai's prostate each time.

"Naru-Naruto," Sai cried out as he felt his entire consciousness center on his lower regions and Naruto's movements. He desperately clung to the tanned body moving above him trying to find an anchor in the sea of emotions wracking his body.

"Sai," Naruto whispered into their adjoined lips as his pace picked up slightly and he changed his angle minutely. Sai's eyes widened then slammed shut as he cried out into the room with the new pleasure racing along his nerves.

"Ah…Nn Naru-Naruto! I-I oh god, I love you Naruto," Sai screamed as he came.

Naruto's eyes widened at Sai's euphoric confession. For once the confession didn't make Naruto feel guilty. Leaning down Naruto thrust into Sai's no pliant body a few more times before coming as well. Brushing his lips along Sai's Naruto whispered, "I promise to love you Sai."

_xXx Shattered Soul xXx_

An hour later Sai awoke wrapped in Naruto's arms. He looked up into clear blue eyes and smiled, "Sorry I didn't mean to pass out."

"It's alright," Naruto said leaning down and kissing Sai softly. "I was able to come up with an answer while I watched you sleep."

Sai sat up and looked at Naruto with hopeful, yet fearful eyes. "What did you come up with?" Sai asked. What Sai wanted to ask was who do you choose? But he couldn't bring himself to ask such a cold question. Not after Naruto had just made_ love_ to him.

Naruto sighed and cupped Sai's cheek. "I've hurt you more than anyone, haven't I?" There was obvious pain in Naruto's voice as he spoke. Sai just nodded his head in answer to the question. He couldn't lie; Naruto had put him through a great deal of pain. "I'm sorry," Naruto whispered. "I'm so sorry Sai. I should have had the courage to push you away, but I was desperate for comfort. I used you so shamelessly to drive away the cold darkness. I'm sorry, so sorry." Tears streaked down Naruto's cheeks staining them as they fell.

Sai reached up and brushed them away. "I knew what I was doing Naruto," Sai said softly. "I knew that you were thinking of someone else, you don't have to apologize."

"You're wrong!" Naruto yelled. Sai looked at him shocked. "I never thought of Sasuke or Sakura while I held you. Maybe I did the first couple of times, but as it continued I soon forgot them while I was lost in your body. But still I couldn't bring myself to rid my heart of them!" Naruto's blue eyes pinned Sai's black. Sai was shocked to see life in them. They weren't vacant orbs but held the spark of life that had attracted so many people to the blonde in the past. "I was thinking of you yet still saying I loved them! I was hurting you while I refused to see my own feelings. I'm terrible; I don't deserve your love."

Sai felt hope swell up and fill him. Could this be real? Could he finally have what he wanted? Sai reached out and hugged Naruto, tears now spilling from his own eyes. "I love you Naruto," Sai declared. "I can forgive you anything as long as you just tell me I can have you to myself. I'll forget everything as long as your heart belongs to me," Sai cried.

Naruto's arms wrapped around Sai pulling him tight against him. "I'm yours," Naruto whispered. "I'm all yours." Sai collapsed against Naruto's chest tears of joy falling from his eyes. Naruto was finally his, after years of watching him suffer, of suffering alongside him, he finally had what he wanted.

_xXx Shattered Soul xXx_

"You sure?" Gaara asked as he looked at the blonde standing before him. He could still see traces of the pain, but much of it had faded over the past three months.

Naruto smiled, a really smile, and said, "Yeah." He looked over to Sai and his smile turned loving, "It's time we headed home." Sai had stayed in Suna with Naruto for the entire three months after Gaara had contacted Tsunade about the situation. Gaara firmly believed that Sai was the reason Naruto had pulled through.

"Okay," Gaara finally said. "If you ever need to get away just send one of your messenger toads and I'll prepare a room."

"Thank you Gaara," Naruto responded hugging the redhead. Gaara returned the embrace.

They broke apart and Gaara turned to Sai. "Don't let him fall into that void again," Gaara implored softly. He never wanted to see that much pain in his friend again.

Sai smiled and leaned his head on Naruto's shoulder, "I won't."

"Come on Sai, let's head home," Naruto said turning towards the direction of the Fire Country. Sai turned with him and hand in hand they sprinted across the desert sands.

_xXx Shattered Soul xXx_

Everyone was waiting at the village gates for Naruto and Sai. As they came into view Iruka was the first person to rush forward. He hugged the blonde tightly, a hug Naruto returned. Next was Kakashi, followed by Tsunade, and Konohamaru. Naruto smiled at all of them and they were all pleased to see really joy shining in his eyes. Naruto's eyes suddenly darkened and his smile fell as two figures approached.

"Naruto," Sakura said softly.

"Sakura-chan," Naruto responded. Sai stepped forward and grasped Naruto's hand.

"I'm sorry," Sakura whispered.

Naruto felt pain pierce his chest. He squeezed Sai's hand tighter, Sai squeezed back. "I can't forgive you right now but I know one day I will," Naruto said.

Sakura looked up into Naruto's eyes and smiled sadly, "I understand."

Naruto's eyes left Sakura's form and turned to Sasuke who was standing beside her silently. "I love you Sasuke," Naruto suddenly announced. Sasuke's eyes widened and Sakura gasped. "But I now know that my feelings haven't changed from our first battle at the Valley of the End. I still think of you as a brother."

Sasuke bit the inside of his cheek before saying, "I understand. I should have seen the pain you were going through. I'm sorry Naruto."

"You've been the biggest cause of suffering for me," Naruto said. "But I won't let you hurt me anymore." Naruto looked over to Sai and smiled, "After all I'm not alone. Someone special now holds my heart." Naruto walked passed Sasuke and Sakura saying softly, "I'll forgive you someday, just not today."

_xXx Shattered Soul xXx_

Naruto gazed down at Sai's sleeping face. He wouldn't regret choosing Sai. Naruto was now sure of it, he truly loved the former Root member. Leaning down Naruto kissed Sai's lips and whispered, "Heal my soul so I can give it to you."

_The End!_

_**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**_

**And that readers is the end of this fic! I hope you all enjoyed it, and cried at least once! Thank you so much for reading and thank you to all those who reviewed, but please don't expect too many NaruSai's out of me, because I am ultimately a SasuNaru fan.**

**Voice: *crying* This is so, so, so touching! **

**Me: You are over reacting.**

**Voice: No I'm *sniffle* not! Right? *sniffle* Review and tell her *sobs* that I'm not *sniffle, sob* over reacting!**


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